We got a curveball…

You know the phrase when life throws you a curve ball? Yes it has happened here. My oldest daughter was in a car accident the week of Thanksgiving and her left lower leg was injured…so much so she is home for the Spring semester.It’s a huge adjustment for everyone esp.me since I will be taking her to her physical therapy appts etc. Throw in Nate’s weekly appt and then the monthly kid appts it becomes kind of crazy.

I am also taking 2 grad classes on Tues and Thurs night….so it is going to be crazy. I am wondering when my free time comes in…I love my daughter but I also crave alone time at times…so it’s a challenge. I have mixed feelings so, so, relieved she is alive…and yet at the same time resentful I again have to put my life on hold again for the family. I have a degree in teaching I want to use…yet the needs of the family overrun the time I need to teach. With everything going on Jo and I would have come close to running out of sick days by now. I resent it….I want my time to be a teacher…something I have a passion for.

Jo can’t really help with the running around because by the time she is out of school most things are closed…..I know she wants to help…it’s just not working out. I am also running with some of my own health issues at the moment…some days are I am exhausted and there is nothing I can really do about that right now…more doctors and tests to come in the coming weeks….

I so want to get the hell out of here…..I miss more things to do…I feel if we lived in a bigger gay community that had things to do I would not feel so damn isolated. Community here zilch…opening churches…..not really….it’s a pain…..and I am so tires of being isolated….of not being free….

I am caught in a web I have no control over right now….and it is pissing me off and angry right now….I want peace and calm for a bit…is that to much to ask?

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